A Realization…
A year has come and gone. My God how time flies! It doesn’t seem like a year since our little Skyler was born. It’s been such a tough but great year that I can’t even imagine life without him. He and Skye really do complete my life. How cool is that?
Skyler and Skye
I can remember the first two nights at the hospital after he was born. It was a bit surreal. I’d look over at the bassinet and think to myself, “Wow, that’s really my son.” It still is a bit surreal and he is a year old now. He’s walking and babbling and playing with his toys and there is a magic when his eyes meet mine, an unspoken understanding on a spiritual level. It’s hard to explain. I now understand what my parents had always told me about me and my brother and sister. “You’ll know when you have a baby,” my mother would say. I now understand on two levels. I understand from the point of view of the parent now and because of that I am able to understand it completely from the point of view of the child. Does that make sense? Let me explain.
I was sitting with Skyler as he was falling asleep the other night and came to a realization. Skyler will probably not remember sitting with me this night or other nights. He won’t remember falling asleep peacefully and feeling secure knowing that I was holding him and making sure he was safe. He doesn’t realize what Skye and I do and sacrifice for him to make sure he is safe and secure and happy. This doesn’t bother me. I do not expect anything in return. It did, however, made me start thinking about myself and how I was as a baby to my parents. They must have come to this conclusion years ago. They went through this three times. Although I don’t remember this I can imagine myself being held by my mother and father and them thinking the same thing I am thinking about Skyler. What magical moments we have had. And because of those moments I had with my parents I am who I am today. I may not remember them but I relive them every night when I sit down with Skyler and give him a kiss on the cheek and tell him sweet dreams as he falls asleep.
One day years from now he will be in the same position as me with his son or daughter and make the same realization I have. When he does I will look into his eyes and see the same boy I see today and hear that unspoken understanding I did the first time he locked eyes with me. And with that I look into my parents eyes and tell them, “Thank You.” Thank you for all the nights you stayed up with me, that you changed my diapers. Thank you for all that you sacrificed to make growing up safe and secure and happy. I now understand.
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Adrian – you blog post really hit it right on the dot. You also have a great knack for writing.
I have had a similar realization with my kids and imagined myself and my sister with my parents.
Time does fly by – too fast. 1992 “is” so long ago but it does not feel like it.